“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” - Peter Drucker

Hey Stackers, welcome back to The 201. We are pretty fired up about this edition because Charles Duhigg stopped by the basement to help us tackle something almost every one of us will face in December: navigating holiday conversations. This newsletter is all about taking those ideas from the show and breaking them down into simple, practical moves you can use right away, whether you are talking to your boss at the office party or standing next to your cousin’s new boyfriend at the punch bowl.

Inside this week’s 201, you will learn exactly what makes someone a Super Communicator, how to ask better questions, and why proving you are listening matters more than delivering the world’s greatest small talk. We will also show you how to start connections during the holidays without forcing long, awkward conversations. And just like always, you will walk away with clear action steps you can try this week.

Enjoy the show!

-Kevin

The 411 on Communication:

• 25 percent: Potential productivity boost for teams that communicate well.
• 4.6 times: How much more likely employees are to do their best work when they feel heard.
• 61 percent: Portion of workplace commitment that is tied to internal communication quality.
• 70 percent: Share of organizational mistakes that stem from poor communication.
• 64 percent: Business leaders who believe effective communication increases team productivity.

Latest Stacking Benjamins Podcast Episodes:

How to Actually Enjoy Holiday Small Talk (And Give Better Gifts for Less) SB1771 ​Listen here →​

How to Save Money Without Making Your Life Miserable (SB1770) ​Listen here →​

How to Actually Enjoy Holiday Small Talk (And Give Better Gifts for Less), with Charles Duhigg:

December might be the busiest social month of the year, but that does not mean you have to pretend to be an extrovert to survive it. Charles Duhigg reminded us that being a Super Communicator is not about dominating conversations or being the most charismatic person in the room. It is about inviting people in and making them feel heard.

If the idea of holiday parties, office gatherings, and family dinners makes you want to hide behind the dessert table, today’s conversation was a gift. When you shift from impressing to connecting, every conversation becomes easier and more meaningful.

Ask Better Questions to Become a Super Communicator

Super communicators begin with curiosity rather than performance. Instead of leaning on surface questions like “Where do you live?” or “What do you do?”, they ask deeper questions that open doors instead of closing them. These deeper questions invite someone to share something real without feeling put on the spot. Charles explains that you do not need long conversations or complicated lines. You only need a simple question that invites a story instead of a short answer.

• Plan ahead. Prepare two questions ahead of time that encourage a longer answer such as why someone chose their career or what sparked their interest in a topic. Looking for a little inspiration? Check out this piece from Indeed to see a list of 47 great questions to ask at a networking event (link).
• Ask meaningful questions. Replace questions about facts with questions about experiences and values so the other person can share something meaningful Learn how to ask great questions by reading this piece from Harvard Business Review (link).

Practice active listening

Listening is the superpower most people overlook. Charles explained that many of us think we are listening when really the other person feels like we are waiting for our turn to speak. Super communicators prove they are listening by reflecting back what they heard and responding directly to it. When someone feels understood, they naturally want to continue the conversation and that is where real connection begins.

• Seek clarity. Reflect back what you think the other person meant and allow them to confirm or clarify so they know you heard them accurately. Learn about 20 ways to ensure clarity and understanding in crucial conversations by reading this piece from Forbes (link).
• Don't assume; ask! Ask if you understood them correctly which communicates attention and invites them to continue sharing. Learn how to be an overall better active listener and practice acting listening techniques by reading this piece from Positive Psychology (link).

Use Holiday Parties to Start rather than Finish a Connection

Holiday gatherings rarely allow time for long meaningful conversation and that is perfectly fine. Charles emphasized that super communicators do not try to solve everything at the party. They focus on a brief sincere interaction and extend a light invitation to talk more another time. This removes pressure from both sides and still creates genuine connection.

• Keep it short, but express interest in continuing the conversation. Offer a short sincere appreciation and then ask if you may follow up later, which plants the seed for a deeper conversation without forcing it in the moment. Learn 8 ways to improve your communication skills by reading this piece from Harvard University (link).
• Think K.I.S.S. Respects to Gene Simmons, but we're talking keep it short and simple. Keep every interaction brief and friendly so you both feel comfortable moving on rather than feeling trapped in small talk. Learn how to apply the KISS principle in business environments by reading this piece from business.com (link).
• Master the Art of Small Talk. Whether it's in a business or purely social setting, the art of small talk is an essential skill you should have in your toolkit. Learn 8 tips for improving your conversational skills by reading this piece from Toastmasters International (link).

Putting it together

Super communication is not about telling great stories or being loud in a crowded room. It is about curiosity, listening, and inviting someone to share something meaningful. Use this season’s conversations as practice and you might discover that holiday gatherings are less exhausting and more rewarding than they have ever been.

Are YOU ready to take the next step and improve your communication skills?

If you're ready to become a true supercommunicator, grab your copy of Charles Duhigg's hit book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection​

Mom's takeaway

You do not need to be the loudest voice in the room for people to enjoy being around you. Honestly, most folks are just hoping someone will listen to them for a change. So if you remember one thing from Charles today, let it be this: ask a real question, look someone in the eye, and let them finish their thought. I promise you will leave that party feeling a whole lot better than if you spent the night trying to impress everybody. That is how you make real friends and real memories.

Our Headline:

In today’s headline, Joe shares a MarketWatch piece that looks at a surprising holiday twist. This year, thrift stores were not just a side chick option (go home, Doug!) during Black Friday but were actually running sales of their own. According to the article, younger shoppers have been driving a trend toward buying and gifting secondhand items, and it turns out, a lot of people might be more open to gently used presents than you think. The crew dives into what kinds of gifts fall into that sweet spot, how much families are spending, and where the line is between thoughtful and awkward.

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Secondhand gifts can be thoughtful and financially smart

The crew points out that thrifting is growing because people want meaningful gifts that do not destroy their budget. Expensive categories like sports gear, vinyl, cookware, and nostalgic items can be more affordable and, at times, may even be higher quality when purchased secondhand. I'm sure I still have the metal bat that I used to crush a homerun in the T-ball championship game somewhere in mom's basement... Actually, that's not secondhand; it qualifies as vintage.

• Secondhand doesn't necessarily mean of lesser quality. Look for high-quality used items such as vinyl, books, cookware, sports gear, or El Camino accessories instead of automatically shopping new. Check out this piece from Consumer Reports to learn some tips for how to save money and select high-quality secondhand products when shopping (link).
• Shop with intention. Just because you're surrounded by "amazing" prices doesn't mean you should buy just anything on a whim. Learn more about intentional gift giving by reading this piece from The Declutter Hub podcast (link).

• Safety first. Before you drop a stack on that sweet new doo-hickey (Mom's term...I don't make the rules, I just follow orders), be sure that whatever caught your eye is actually safe - new or used. Run a quick recall & product safety warning check by using this resource from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (link).

The way you give used items matters as much as the gift itself

Joe’s story about his sister-in-law highlighted how awkward it feels when a used item is presented as new. Tap into your honesty, thoughtfulness, and personal knowledge of the recipient. Some people love receiving curated vintage items, while others may prefer new.

• Master the delivery. When giving something secondhand, explain why you chose it and what made you think the recipient would appreciate that specific item. But use your discretion and common sense (as well as your familiarity with the recipient).
• Make it personal. Match the gift style to the person’s preferences so it feels thoughtful instead of like you are simply clearing space in your house. Learn how to give better gifts by reading this piece from Yale University (link).

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That is going to do it for today’s stack of Benjamins. A huge thank you again to Charles Duhigg for coming back down to Mom’s Basement and helping us navigate the chattiest month of the year. If there is one thing we can all take away, it is that you do not have to be the loudest person at the party to make a real connection. Asking better questions and truly listening goes a long way at home, at work, and especially during those holiday gatherings.

If you found yourself nodding along today, do not worry, you are in good company. We will be back next time with more stories, more money lessons, and maybe a little eggnog spilled along the way. Stay curious, stay kind, and keep stacking those Benjamins.

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